Don't dwell on it

So, today's well meaning advice to the infertile has a few variations:
"Don't dwell on it."
"Just relax and it will happen."
"If it is supposed to be then it will be."
There are other variations, but I actually heard these today from a well-meaning family member.

Well, I agree, if it is meant to happen then we will have children.  I don't know what God's will is for my family yet.  I don't know how this journey will end.  I do know that God is with me and knows my pain. 

I wish I could relax.  Life is stressful without having to deal with fertility issues.  I am a full time employee, full time student, active with my church, and active with our family.  On top of that I have to deal with the agony every month of not being pregnant.  I have to figure out how to use my vacation/sick time in order to go to doctor's appointments.  I have to figure out how to deal with paying for all these fertility procedures. 

I wish I could STOP thinking about it. I am reminded EVERY SINGLE DAY that I have fertility issues.  I take medication every day.  Then if I don't get my monthly, I have to take medicine to make that happen.  Then, I have to count X-number of days after I start so I can take another pill.  Then, I have to count X-number of days so I can start urinating on a stick and then go to the doctor for blood work to see if I ovulated.  I have to count so many days so I can make sure I have "intercourse".  Due to the medication I take every day, I have to really watch my diet or I will be sick.  We do not want to make too many future plans because in essence our life is on hold.  Everything I do, is based upon trying to have a baby.  I take alternate routes in Walmart so I don't have to look at the baby section.  I find myself changing the channel when baby shows come on the TV.  I will myself to stop thinking about it, but still can't. 

Still hoping for our miracle.